I just had to











hahhaa

Closing date for JET is the 1st of December.

Still deciding what to do

its either buy a house or go to japan

I should just apply. I might not even get accepted.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

screw this, everyone else should just die and I'd have the whole world to myself.

moo moo mooooooo

What else...nothing muuuuuuuuuch

Have a pirate party to attend on saturdaaaaay, I have to dress as a pirate. yay

Not really. not in the mood for dressing up

not in the mood for anything really!

I just want the holidays to be here, where there are no kids doing things to annoy me, and I can sit alone in my house and play wow. Possibly play my music really really loud, swing on my pole.



























AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
>.

Mood: crazy
Music: Metallica - Nothing else matters

Okay, so most interesting news so far?

I entered the She Moves pole dancing competition on Friday. I went in the Advanced category...and guess wat!

I WON

AWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I won a pole, which I shall get eventually, also a bottle of champagne, a calander, aaaand a bunch of roses.

BUT A POLE!!

AW YEAAAAAAAAAH

And I just scoped out my room, there is PLEANTLY of space to swing around and stuff, I'll just have to put a few things flat and we'll be in business!


Pics comeing soon (after I get my lazy ass in gear)

yay

1 more week till holidays!! Work has been really trying, because of a few little shits. Seriously, some of them just need to be shaken, shaken like you shake a hairspray can.

Went to the gym a few nights ago....my legs STILL hurt -_- So I haven't been going for fear for completly destroying my legs.

I am earning money now.....and it doesn't seem like much. I dunnooooooooooooo, it's like....now that I am earning "real" money I dont want to spend any of it if necessary, and I feel guilty about spending it. Like I bought a few comics, and as I was paying I was thinking "This is about 3 hours of some kid not doing what I am asking, 10 mins of a kid doing some work, and about 5 hours of me worrying if a kid is finally going to snap and completly fuck me up."

Doesn't seem worth it...But then I think of all my lovely kiddies and I smile, and there are so many :3 It's interesting how just one kid (and yes I mean ONE KID) can ruin the day for everyone. Ah, but it is worth it.

I am still tossing up wether or not to go to Japan, and I have to decide SOON because apps close soon! o_O I know that it will be good money...and I will probably have a blast over there...buuuuut I am pretty sure I am very capable of getting very very homesick :(

Feeling kinda gross at the moment, I wanted to clean my room, and have wanted to for a few weeks...but I look at it and just think "Fuck it. i wanna sleep" buuuuuuuuh laaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy

I think I need to have a major "Throw everything away" session, because I have so much crap....I cant put anything away anymore. But my parents always to the guilty thing on me "Why dont you just wear this at home?"

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa

I think I'll do it in secret hehehe.

I feel sick, i'm gonna stop looking at the computer screen now.

<3 <3 <3

seriously thinking about doing some exercise again....but real exercise. I'll probably start pole dancing again but at a new studio.

buuuuut I'm thinking of doing other stuff too....like...I dunno a martial art or something. Or....*shudder* a gym. but i have NFI about gym stuff....sooooo I'll probably stick to pole dancing. But gym you get exercise....kinda getting....slow and unfit, not fat, just unfit. soooo I dunno.

Gotta get some moneys first....pole dancing is expensive (if I'm gonna do that) T_____________T

Thats all

boring post huh?

HAhahhahaa


today when I checked my email I got a msg from Gaia saying someone had tried to log into my account 9 times XD NINE TIMES they tried to guess my password, guess it's pretty good that it's so obscure!!

The account was then blocked for a few minutes.

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHA

So I went to check my message box to see if there were any abusive letters in there, alas none T_T

I just realised

My brother wont be here for my graduation.

One of the most important people in my life and he isn't goint to be there.

I really wanted him to be there, but he cant.

This makes me cry.

I have officially completed my course.

Oh yes

It feels good. I have finished something, one part of my life is done and I am beginning something new...though now I want to go back to uni...AH NEVER MIND!! Some other time, when I am sick of working.

Right now I am filling out my graduation information, and OMG check out the example they use!!!
This is for pronounciation of names and the example they give:
(Eg: Hough rhymes with ‘Huff’, Liew sounds like ‘Li-You’, Eu Jin is pronounced ‘You-gene’)
AHAHAHAHAHA They use Liew, this amuses me :)

Hmmmm I am trying to figure out how someone would read Li-Ahn I mean it looks pretty fucking obvious to me, but if I get called Li- Anne I will be fucking pissed of, my name isn't fucking Li-Anne, it's Li- AAAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn like AHHHHHnnnnnn~

People are retarded.

What ellllllse....nothing!!

I am sooooooo sleepy ima take a well deserved nap!!

<3 <3

Mood: jubilant
Music: Jesse Cook - Azul

Okaaaay

So. Second day working at my neeeeeew place, and my first big idea is that yeap...my sympathy for these kids is there, but I'm not going to be all simpering or whatever.

Today is what I would call my first MINOR MINOR incident, and it really got me thinking. "How exactly do these kids look at the world?" I thought this as I was talking to a student (who was basically bummed and honestly being a little shit and not doing any work) and I looked outside and thought "Woah the rain and sunshine look so beautiful, it's all golden and warm." Then I looked at my student and realised that he probably just sees nothing, just rain and a few cars.

These kids see nothing that I see, their whole perspective on the world is warped and and different, and fair enough, they have had a hard life, really REALLY hard, and thats all bad and what not, but what makes me get a little bit pissed off (or loose sympathy for these kids) is that I have met two or three kids in mainstream school in exactly the same situations as them and they dont go around digging themselves into deeper holes. They dont use their centerlink money on drugs or expensive mobile phones, they buy school books and FOOD, they dont let their past life completly rule them. Instead they look at their life and past and go "I DON'T want that, so I'm going to do something about it." and that's just it, they DO something.

Some of these kids do nothing. So where they are and where they will be will be directly affected by what they do, and they dont realise that they can have it better, but they have to WORK for it. That's a big scary word for these kids WORK, and they have to do stuff they dont like, I dont like getting up in the morning but I still do. I didn't like doing assignments but I did them because if I didn't I would fail uni and become a total retard.

These kids have no life planning skills, they only think about now and the immediate future, and that is a huuuuuge problem.

SO. Yes, I feel really really sorry for them, and often horrified and disgusted by what has been done to them, but I still think that in Australia if you try hard enough you can always get something better. Sure these kids are disadvantaged in HUUUUUUUUGE ways, but they have it good compared to kids in a lot of middle eastern and asian countries, where you dont get support from the government, and there are no hostels or places street kids can go, you are basically left to die and rot on the street, and the only way you can get money is through real crime and prostitution, o one gives a shit in those countries. That kinda makes me feel shitty at the Australian kids. They have no idea how good they have it compared to some other kids in other countries. Aussie kids are too caught up in their own "Bad-assed" image, where lots of kids in asia and the middle east are mainly caught up with survival, I suppose that is a huge difference.

I suppose what they do it up to their personality, but really these kids think they are tough and smart and that they know everything and that the world revolves around them, but really in a way these are the weaker kids, because they haven't been able to just say "No way I'm not going to live like this I'm going to change" kids who do that are I suppose stronger (in my eyes anyways).

But at the same time they are attending this school, so that is a pretty good step. So yeah, while I do feel for these kids (because no one should EVER have to go through their situation) they loose sympathy from me if they dont even try. I mean sure if they are trying and trying and circumstances just keep fucking them up, fair enough they deserve all the help I can give them, but if they dont want to make something of their life, then there is nothing that I can really do and I am not going to stress over a kid who does not want my or anyone elses help. That may be harsh, but it is totally warrented.

SO. What does that mean for the average public?........I guess it means that people who haven't been through tonnes of shit in their life and do nothing and whine and bitch and complain about stuff GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME.GET OFF YOUR FAT ASSES AND WORK FFS.

Anyways enough ranting about that.
ONE little problem that I have with the place I work is that after working there for a day, my hands always feel really really dirty. I DUNNOOOOOOO it's not just me, I mean I go to wash my hands and the water turns BLACK o_O eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww maybe I should just not touch stuff...aaaaanyways that is unimportant.

OH! AND ANOTHER THING. Why is it that whenever I start prac or like this new job my eczema EXPLODES and I get rashes ALL over me. AND why is it that students ALWAYS asume that I have hickeys all over my neck (Mainstream AND this new school) honestly it really buggs me. EVERY prac I have had some kid has said to me "Miss are they hickeys?" which indecating my eczema on my neck.

NO THEY ARE, IT'S A VERY ITCHY RASH LEAVE ME ALONE GODDAMNIT!!

*cries* EVERY prac, and now this school T______________T just leave me alone! I'm very sensitive you bastards! T_T

OH!! And my boss has/had to go for a meeting and the meeting is called the "FFS" meeting. I teehee-din my head about that....though it might be "FSS" not sure, I teehee-d anyways :P

Anyways, I think that I will be able to fit into this job, as long as no one tries to attack me physically I'll be fine ^_______^ personal insults dont really affect me anymore yay TY BOBBY AND DAVE FOR MAKING ME IMMUNE TO THAT, YOUR RELENTLESS TEASING PAID OFF YOU SICK SADISTIC BASTARDS -_-

I am kinda liking doing something that I spent 4 years in uni for, and I feel like I am doing something worth while, even if it is listening to a kid go on about how nothing matters anymore (if he wern't such a hard ass he'd be TOTALLY emo -_-) If I can just help these kids a bit I'll be really pleased and happy with this job, I can see this being really rewarding in terms of learning about teaching and learning about myself, maybe making me a little less naive about what happens in Australia too.

This job is going to be hard, but fantastic. I can tell that, and I hope that I can cope with it because I would hate to be fired. This job is totally awesome so far (lol see if I say that in a few weeks). I still have to get my bearing and become comfortable there, only then will I be able to see if I can really help these kids, or if I am just a total liability to the school. I hope I'm not. I want to help these kids because they need it, they NEED help, and I want to do something for them but yes, I'm not stupid they only get help if they want it. I think if I can cope with this job it is going to be so much more rewarding than working in a mainstream school where advantaged kids stare at me and dont want to do any work just because they are little SHITS.

GO ME!

I am progressing in life, and it feels good. Really, really good.

Mood: restless
Music: Karnivool - Mauseum

Wheeeeeeee I am updating at work because I have nothing else to do until 1:00.

Sooooooooo what's been happening with meeeee. I have achieved new jobness! That's right no longer will I be a bum working in a fun and tax-free environment T_T I have a new job and I start on the 24th this month. It is my first ever REAL job.

I got the job from Joe ie loten who told his mum who worked at a school that I was a new graduating teacher. I visited the school and the rest snowballed from there. Basically the school is for problem kids who have been expelled from mainstream school and cant function in them. It's really interesting...also fucking scary, and exciting.

SO! As of the 24th Elaine will be part of the Australian work force YaaaaY (boo)Getting this job has meant that I have had to put off going to Japan for a year though because basically the condidtion was that I cant leave the school half way through the year. Soooooo japan will have to wait until maybe 2008 :( Which makes me a little sad, but I figuere in 2008 I will be 25 and that is still youngish! It'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. And maybe when I come back after 2008 the new trains will be ready! So I dont have to suffer through another year of useless construction.

I still plan to go to Japan at the end of the year though just for a holiday., buy lots of crap! See lots of things. Mum wants me to go to the UK with her, buuuuut UK = boooooooring, I have no interest in going to London AT ALL.

What else has been going on. mmmmmmmm nothing really.

I intend to go into town nowish and buy some cases for my electronic things that I always carry around with me because they are all getting scratched :( Sooo I will go spend more of my hard earned moneys :(

I will miss working at PTIC, the environment is so fun and I love all the people that work here, I have so much fun here talking with my boss and the other tutors :( I wish I could work here longer, but I really need to start getting stuff together and this job just doesn't fit the bill of a "stable" and constant source of income.

I am deciding weather or not to get a credit card when I start the new job. I am leaning towards no, because I think I know how I will be with a credit card, like....I will spend too much, I mean I can get a credit limit, buuuuut I dunno. I dont want to give myself that temptation until I am into a steady pattern of spending and saving.

I am starting to get back into my good habit of saving now too. So I have managed to save a good amount since starting working at PTIC again, but getting this new job will give me more money and then I can get MOOOORE interest on my super awesome bank account. But I think I have to change my account because it might still be a student one, but if I fail this fucking unit I did last semester then I will be still a student.

I have also decided that if I fail this unit I am NOT going to do another stupid english unit, I am going to take Japanese because that last unit is an elective and I have basically had enough of reading books I hate. SO in a way I hope I fail so I can do a unit of japanese but I also hope that I dont fail because then I have to pay more HECS and I fail and it means I have to do uni, enrolments are closed, but the results come out on he 17th or something DAMN YOU UNIVERSITY!

Soooooo that is my life at the moment, not very interesting is it?

Oh well

<3 <3 <3

Mood: bored